This Resolution




This resolution promulgated on the 7th day of April in the year of our Lord 2009 is to be taken forthwith in earnest effort by __________to establish that she, as the beleaguered bearer of this message is hereby

Abdicating all prior instincts toward the Insane and toward the pernicious afflictions of Insanity in General, such conditions and inclinations toward which and from which she has been previously drawn and/or conceived, and with which she has for some time been absorbed in attendant myriad paroxysms of suffering. __________ will, for such time as will be noted to include the present day and time (hereafter to be termed “now”) and extending from now on into and including perpetuity (or all that follows hereafter, not omitting any definite end point that may eventually be discovered at or near the end of infinity) endeavor

To lead a normal and civilized life, and to which end she will conduct herself in such manner and comportment as would befit a lady of her standing and good will. These pursuits are to be followed at ALL TIMES in a most earnest and diligent fashion and by the means most sober, pragmatic, and respectable.

Such means as she may have at her ready disposal (and these are to be utilized WHETHER OR NOT she feels her personally ascribed destiny to be sad, peculiar, cursed or whatnot) shall include but not be limited to:

     1. Positivity of spirit.  
     2. Helpful kindliness.  
     3. Adequate vigor toward worthy goals.  
     4. Proper attendance to hygiene, especially avoiding the devilish trap of not attending to one’s hair.  
     5. Cheerful repartees, even or especially under duress, in situations concerning any children, including, but not limited to, one’s own.
     6. Support of one’s spouse, with special attention being made to their time of greatest vulnerability as they suffer through their “male menstruation” cycle.
     7. Lastly, of virtue and morality:  refer to the wisdom of sages and prophets for help here as is necessary.  

*Special note: when toying with the idea of evil in any of its more complicated and enticing forms and manifestations, DO NOT recall to mind Oscar Wilde’s musings on temptation. It is not fitting or appropriate to follow examples of any authors, no matter what their level of mastery in the domain of words. Mastery of words and mastery of deeds are as clear-hewn for our purposes here as night is from day. In matters of basic human decency, literary talent is to be noted as having absolutely no bearing whatsoever.

Affix notary seal. Sign and date (in blood) below.

________________




Phoebe Wilcox, a tormented Pennsylvania artist, has seen “Hamlet 2” four times. The first chapter of her novel, Angels Carry the Sun, has been published in “Wild River Review,” and an excerpt from a second novel in progress has been published in “Wild Violet.” Recent and forthcoming experiments may be found in “The Chaffey Review,” “Emprise” “Shoots and Vines,” “The Battered Suitcase,” “Counterexample Poetics,” “Calliope Nerve,” “Bartleby-Snopes,” “The Black Boot” and others. Her story, “Carp with Water in Their Ears,” published in “River Poets Journal” was nominated for a Pushcart Prize.

Read more work from Phoebe Wilcox.